tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255808252082956251.post5599624598128139526..comments2024-02-16T01:48:30.016-08:00Comments on mathbionerd: Breedermathbionerdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17525536407206138695noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255808252082956251.post-35942774005652189322013-05-25T00:31:16.828-07:002013-05-25T00:31:16.828-07:00One's house or TV screen or body part or plans...One's house or TV screen or body part or plans may be bigger or more important, doh. Yours may not be as bloated but it makes a lot better sense.<br /><br />Importantly, just like grad school, having children is something one can't really appreciate until one's in. A kind of a transformative experience which makes all the previous wanting-or-not-wanting go up in smoke.MOCKBAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05150628026789690963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255808252082956251.post-21168981858125185302012-08-20T09:26:02.597-07:002012-08-20T09:26:02.597-07:00Convoluted replies welcome - I go off on tangents ...Convoluted replies welcome - I go off on tangents very easily. My daughter was born during grad school, and while I tried to be aware of timing of events before her birth, the bias against parents became glaringly apparent after her birth. <br /><br />Also, it was kind of funny. In contrast to stereotypes other pregnant women have - everyone touching their belly and making comments all the time about the impending birth, most of the people in Science made a point to not mention my "condition". I felt a little sad to miss out on sharing the excitement. <br />mathbionerdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17525536407206138695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255808252082956251.post-52351619346750196902012-08-20T01:54:16.900-07:002012-08-20T01:54:16.900-07:00Thank you for your post. I wrote a big long reply...Thank you for your post. I wrote a big long reply but it got too convoluted. Essentially, I'm in a similar position to you (but two kids during grad school), and I too find the "breeder" comments repulsive. I understand and respect others' choice not to have kids, but for them to then denigrate those who chose to have kids is as bad as others pressuring <i>them</i> to have kids.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255808252082956251.post-87182270294227445422012-08-19T20:34:49.195-07:002012-08-19T20:34:49.195-07:00Thanks! And, congratulations on your success!
I g...Thanks! And, congratulations on your success!<br /><br />I grew up in the Midwest, spending most of my time in Oklahoma, Kansas and Nebraska, and as clique as it sounds, it really is the norm to have children young and live your life surrounded by family and friends you've known since birth. It can be very lovely.<br /><br />And, I do understand how it can be overwhelming and frustrating for someone who doesn't want children. But I don't think that validates inappropriate comments towards people with children. I think those comments are what contribute to the atmosphere that leads many women to self-select themselves to drop out of academia.<br /><br />But maybe I'm wrong, we're still here. :)mathbionerdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17525536407206138695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255808252082956251.post-4750767099948024322012-08-19T20:19:37.327-07:002012-08-19T20:19:37.327-07:00My plans are bigger and more important than childr...<i>My plans are bigger and more important than children and I don't appreciate constantly being told that I'm stupid for not having them soon.</i><br /><br />Ahahahaha -- your friend sounds quite grandiose! :-) Hope the awakening isn't too rude. <br /><br />I don't think anyone should be persuaded to have children. You either want them or you don't. I used to think that people without kids are missing out, but now I understand that their mindset and values are simply different than mine, so they really don't need me preaching to them.<br /><br />I am sorry you are getting so much flack about having a child. But for what it's worth, here's my story: I am in a very macho STEM field (electrical engineering). When I interviewed for a faculty position and when my family status came up in conversation (because I wear a wedding ring and because people are nosy) I volunteered that I was married and had a kid (when I started grad school). Several people told me that they were amazed and that the fact I had a kid made my CV look even more impressive! <br /><br />I know I outpublished all the single guys in my PhD group by a factor 2-3 all the while working 9-5 because of daycare. So try to ignore the stupid distracting remarks, keep doing your thing and keep kicking ass! Success is the best revenge! GMPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17872461021953583473noreply@blogger.com